And i am now...VERY...focused.

NOTE July 2022. links to mega filestore where my videos are probably as dysfunctional now as local environmentalists as i havent paid the bill for said filestore. will be put back in order soon. all is carefully saved...in triplicate.... especially the film of item 1 here 

++++++

 As one criminal wild animal murderer - or rather large group of wild animals murderer...has been given a chance for new healthy friendship...mutual aid... build something positive from their (it was a semi aristocratic clan, the wife too knew... bet their church congregation doesn't, nor her Extinction Rebellion very very good mates who so fawn at their feet... do either)

..the most tragically hypocritical way of treating nature in ALL my 50 plus years being close to it - but being close to big power elsewhere in sophisticated places too...

what i personally have to 'deal' with - after  spring 2020 seeing and photographing and filming one industrial scale wildlife crime less specific, i.e. just huge area of woodland unlawfully cleared during the height of bird and wildlife breeding season, then  July into August 2020 the saddest mass wildlife destruction (bulldozed ALIVE) i have eer seen....

That is hard. But what is actually harder is many years knowing a range of people - its always the women, who sell nice homespun things at farmers markets and fairs... they make expensive(ripoff) yurts to sell to tourists or thieves who stole money down south ty afford to live here (false lawsuits against their employers in previous careers is stealing too - quite common  - i have heard several campfire admissions  the last 15 years ....conscience outs eventually or poisons..)

so what is harder is all these tie dye  types...gather at small festivals like Croisant Neuf or even Sheep Music (i would go to with my daughter as fool me i thought these people were authentic and REAL and a good influence)  all so so holier than thou...

one did it yesterday again - they're always the same 

" 20 years....total environmental wasteland... thefarmers and hunting lot just run rough sod...every single one on 'our' side was ineffectual and mainly completely false.."

the look - always the same " that is a bit of a sweeping generalisation"

To which the answer should have been 

"No luv why don't you shut the fuck up with your insulting rubbish,  it is, all you know is from sitting around someone else's yurt smoking drugs, where your lot for about 15 years have been accusing anyone who doesnt spread your 'positive energy of the universe will solve everything' message of 'generalising' or having 'bad energy' but you aint stupid as you know the only way the usually male dinosaur landowner  - cos someone ALWAYS owns the land... wont invite you back to his land via his lady friends yurts...if you don't spread the Teletubbies version...cos they dont like screwing ' negative' sourpusses they only like screwing  fairies with no brain...like you...and as for generalisation if there wasnt a generalisation about a hundred years ago 'women may vote intelligently  for  moral politicians rather than the armed bomb making wing of the suffragettes....blessem maybe we should trust them with the...vote..[ it being always and only females who by default accuse or in fact insult a man with 'you cant generalise'..'  which is code for I shall never fuckin ever DO anything rather than just talk about the environment  top make me look good]  "

Anyway ..forget them...even if i have a wonderful huge diary of every second of them... millions of seconds of them as the truth only helps the future unless you are Mussolini or a Teletubby.. but when a criminal animal murderer throws away his olive branch....so meanly.. i don't name names, though i do have a list in my head of every single one of the above... Big Al... there's a dead one... the lot of them ...Phoebe.. that whole family...

If one cares about an issue one has a truly superb memory for those who frequently wasted ones time pretending they cared... 

i should have added yesterday " no i didnt mentally file away your name a few months ago as i could tell the second i saw you that t wouldn't be worth it ... so you don't get on then list luv worry not now fuck off and park your car with the engine running all day you call a live in vehicle..elsewhere ... for your own sake - the landowners round here will eat you alive... you have to be a grown up to find out the truth of their behaviour...then somehow tolerate them ....smiling a genuine smile as i do no matter what... and i sleep perfectly luv which i can see you don't... go to a fuckin ashram and maybe they will teach you what 'conscience' means there... that was a joke by the way... cos you'll have to steal a few grand of someone else's money once more ...to get there.... "

I became very diverted

 loss of many year accommodation, no big deal as the wave of gentrification sweeping the region was long ago spied on the horizon. And environmentalism means ALWAYS

.....all must be recycled and pawned off to others who can make use of unneeded this and that. no matter what ego battles may have occurred in the past.

But more interesting, a last busy push to get a few allies to work on various longstanding semi conservation thrusts and legal protections. Even trying to import from abroad a few who may be interested as they also ride out more absurd restrictions in other countries.. But my my what time wasting one encounters. It is called 'people pleasing'. That is not good for you...

hence i gave up actually operating as conservation monitor and attempting to have REAL LAW that protects wildlife enforced and at least some semblance of policing. reality is so few really care.

to be continued quite soon, or rather fully revamped and edited in a different way. I can write but not when rather pushed for space and quiet times. 

a non local - i.e. universal and anonymous,  general universal story of some of what went on in these hills and at these rivers the last decade i would love to turn into something real and somehow life afforming one day. It is almost material for an opera. certainly for art ....

There are important stories that need recording for posterity. And i will.

I became diverted.

 Though it is all far far more interesting and evocative than any mere ordinary diversion.

But yesterday lunchtime I took a minor diversion up the street in my local small town and at last reencoountered the one and only woman whom....

Well the quickest rant:

But then at last yesterday, i met her again...Penny ..we can name her as i told her " ...in the front of it if i ever write it.... the tales of seven years of their fake care... there will be a line, ' for Penny .... the only one who had the bright eyes to tell it like it is and she alone kept me going '..... and i mean it, lass, you alone.... spoke truth to power the power in question being all your town mates pretending they care about the animals of the hills and ....[to be continued as she made me live again]"..This Quinn roams with no plan and just lives in the moment when the moment comes....always happy.....but then sometimes one has to knuckle down and do the bloody hard work:  fifty gigabytes.... it is all very good if you can absolutely let go and just be, in the moment, with them....but bugger me, what a malarkey just to find a signal .... and be so absurdly organised as to flip into work mode the moment one does. Because love, means, always, always no matter what...  and i know one thing for sure, when I am gone, a few Odysseys i undertook, partook, of as one was never alone... meaning in the consciousness sense even if the 'connected consciousness of the universe' does not stop my local high-in-the hills huge sanctuary  badger set I alone knew existed as i can track animals, and film them covertly, and then film the religious bigot churchwarden cunt who takes money to be an actual environmental steward.... bulldoze many live cubs 18 months  ago.... and Penny alone knew it is US  - no one else, us, at fault for never gathering in solidarity to make sure actual law is enforced "Pen if i grabbed your very-cute-for-a-65-year-old Bertrandineish bum... in the street, now, you would rightly have me in the assizes  and shamed all over the local newspapers... because it is against law people died to have in the statutes....  and yet law that protects these protected animals....no one will ever actually help us....and the worst of the lot the ones who have websites saying they are saviours of the beats when they don't even have the manners to reply to a quite sane message stating one could do with some help prosecuting actual holocaust stuff in the hills....with splendid actual filmic evidence..... Pen... forget this sceptic aisle..... i did all i could and now do need to be off..... sooner or later....as soon as i can marry an EU passport ...ooops Miss Taken Identity....find someone who actually meant what they say...")

("Pen.... they even pretend they read..... they'll have Silent Spring on their shelves but i bet  the pages are as rigid from underuse or never-use, as their fuckin god given sex drive...")

SOUL...

innem....

"Pen....soul.... your bright eyes plus soul....you now that only soul gets you through this wasteland of cant and vanity especially their fuckin self regarding nonsense they stick on their facebook... "

I told her. I told her all because she also understood: just a few, just two, standing up to the lawbreakers and the selfish liars who take money for environmental management then actually kill animals unlawfully, or worse: bury alive a set of young badgers, for example...

Penny knows there can never even be two - so much fear so much apathy. But at least there were two of us - her and I, whom would stand on the dreadful High St of pseuds and  fashionistas and eye to eye have no fear of ne another: me trust her to never reveal what she had been told, as if she did I would be hurt, and her trust me in that passion is very very different to a latent nutcase about to actually bite her bum.

But more. I know this tale - seven or eight years really giving every moment i can find to do a few right things  in respect of straightforward law that exists never mind better practice, so as to ensure healthier ecosystems and more... the complete and utter disingenuity, acedia.... didn't even tire me out, when there is a Penny. And after a period of adjustment, and yes leaving these pestilent lands. Those stories must be told. And i started at last....

The start will be soon. But if possible it must include a few laughs...misery and pity achieve nothing. As Penny too understood. The headline " [ church official and aristocrat and environmental speaker ] gets 6 months for brococide...wife tops erself at the shame..." achieves nothing... energises no one into anything positive. And is thus no restorative justice to the nature so cynically abused. In that case for literally a few quid. 

What a great present... I did not know her name before but always looked for her again. I knew who she 'was' but that's just again more of the 'problem' "do you know so and so.." all you hear. I know Penny. Penny knows me. Because we met eye to eye on something only she was fearless enough to be so open about. All the rest are fakes. 

After all that

 I run a few small sites online. Though it is far more important to be outdoors extremely offline wandering the actual 'environment' figuring the truth of it. Well, it isn't 'it' it is of course only us. Because the environment, or as we should rather only think, the ecosystems, are only as they are as a result of small p politics between humans. 

Changes in land use - even around here in these marginal regions, occur  far less as a result of government policy but socio political change. One example is that as most agree smaller farms are far better in the long run for ecosystems. But there is also a wider effect in that if the society around land use comprises a wider diverse people there will in fact be among such groupings more who genuinely care about ecosystems and land use practice and will one way or other organise resistance within their communities to wealthy  larger holdings where bad practice is noted.

In short real environmental care is in the longer run better established of smaller landholdings - often one woman, one man, are far more the norm. In other words gender and family politics matter just as much as grant schemes and 'public money for public goods' rhetoric.   

For some years I wander querying farmers and people connected to land subtly about this never spoken of aspect to balanced and healthier ecosystems. Good for me. The absurd Messiahs of the 'Green' parties and other movements like young environmental 'activists' can never speak of this as they have been perverted by 'clickbait' style campaigning which above all is terrified of one thing - encouraging ordinary people to combine in time immemorial groupings to support one another making small scale landholdings viable. One reason is that almost all 'environmental' campaigns are taken forward by city based people. If cities have become anything-goes hipster led ubersexual fests so be it. But it doesn't work for keeping medium term couplings going in places where the land actually needs stewarding. 

That is another far more interesting essay or two at some point.

But for now I thought I may be  a little sour and over reacting to what i full know is a very widescale movement to turn a large region into a kind of Cotswolds or Surrey overtended suburb (to attract in nice 'safe' rich house buyers). I have seen that gradually sweep over the whole of the region I roam in the title of these pages here. But spring and summer 2021 i have spent a lot of time wandering the South Shropshire region - unitary authority. Frankly because it is so depressing how the councils of these closer regions have turned us into Surrey - or to write more propper, the pseud environmentalists of this region have allowed that to happen.

Roaming South Shropshire in fact shows up just how failed these nearer counties are because the default has virtually become in that county: leave it bloody well alone.  And it so matters. Verges habitats are left to flower and re-establish naturally. Even alongside quite busy roads for example the road that is the 'bypass' to Bishops Castle has leave our verge signage along it at the council clearly chime. 

Ok some tie dyed econuts and their little signs you may say. It is far more important than that because it is SYMBOLIC. It sends a message also to farmers and other landholders including even domestic gardeners,  that we do as a society at large change back to symbiosis with nature by default where possible. And nature is the opposite of the mower.

But South Shropshire is one small area. In fact counties like Powys and Herefordshire are the ones which should lead in this because there is far more land that is away from built up areas and could so easily be left in places to return more to a natural state even if it is just verges and other utility and spare land where mown pathways are frankly an absurdity.  

 

Not really gobbledygook

 

General edit and tart up, and better photos and film  may well happen by weekend 3 / 4 july 2021. Well that’s the plan...

footnote late Oct 2021 - i was divereted...havent had time yet.

++++++++++++++++++++++

And so. 

The problem in a way with the clubism, or in a way shabby cultishness, is that 'poetry' is kept aside of the Kushneresque duelling with certain gods. There are ways you must be; and ways not. According to them.

But one of the freelance tasks i set myself a few years ago was to seek out the incongruities. Once not too long ago I talked myself into thinking incongruity was the highest form of compliment. Not maverick, not subversive, now even eccentric, and certainly not Nestbeschmutzer . And it always comes down to their 'e' word. Energy.

And then incongruities just became the ones with, spirit, guts, oh yes banned word but passion... the real version....

And of course, they were all going to hide in the shadows and cross the road spying me never standing in them even if i spend a lot of time so far away from their possible gaze...in the actual environment they pretend to care for...

I mean a few days ago by that river. Even a 2 1/2 year old can look at the pictures on the weather and say "parent.... lovely day on tuesday, only, so why don't you fix the week so that then we can go down to the most beautiful little riverside spot for miles on that day, so i can paddle and not be nibbled any more by the little fishies you failed to save........and take me shopping on Wednesday cos look black clouds on the icon all day.."

And on that day all day, there,  not a soul to be seen. Oh well duel purpose (not a typo, as he got) ... not a soul all day just goes to prove my theses ... thats good; and a day in paradise--minus-nibbling, alone... is regenerative sustaining good energy always ...

SO back to my god. I mean as so many times said: " a mere man could not get away with that....  she reprinted whole sections within her gorgeous three hundred and thirty six page poem; as i read in one sitting lying on my old sofa, it began to creep in ..' she cannot have..surely..!'  ... gosh it is powerful and that is the kind of art surely that we need to herald as a bit goddessish .... all the way until the wheels fall off and burn.."

Anyway back to my truly glorious world:

Oh I shouldn't spoil this. But I will, a bit. 

To be a little Kushnerite and... naughty girl who-should'v-got-the-Booker  for services to poetical sedition and spirit and guts... to include the nasty man's horrid manifesto...

But weave him in so simply biblical in effect.

And then end it like she did.

As you will too find in your ending.

SO there I am, I am happy with that ending. Only a real goddess could weave that one so blinding light.  I mean, thoughtbubble; "how on earth does she complete this...s'impossible to make me cry after all that bollock choppin off and general reality....... and it is her use of 'light'... genius; when i meet a genius i never forget her"

So there I am essentially the last ten days has been once more yet another last-scene.... may as well get their tommy guns out... I mean I thought he would agree, and support..surely....just with one email line back: splendid... of course...i mean it's not like the wheel needs reinventing here...

But woe is us...

And then just like that to get all Tedtalked ish... on the sidewalk. And he calls.... and we met in the middle of the road. 

But that is one simple impossible. She was not.

I knew because my radar became as good as possible in all this.... she knows what the 'this' in question is. Because she ...

It is in fact just that simple one issue - that Bertrand question. And i must try this weekend. And will fail. But that is not important.

I do have her picture. Aside me now. Ohhh i see London Schoool of Fashion; but. How is it that barring one the rest get past fifty and just become so cheesekake; and it generally shows on their bums too. But bums aside, for all their mindfulness, living in the moment (oh we have a whole blog about this), and backstabbing me for their pleasure...

There is only one woman whom, once again is only pleasure....  

Aside The  Market of the Pharisees and Sadducees

And her - number one Sad Phary...cos at her age she still wants to be one...... at last i have her image, i know what pays for her cake.... and the crimes against my beautiful wild animals.... only i knew of.... 

And 'e did his "risk assessment report" did eeeee... well thats what he said to me, and my little pocket capture him friend...

Anyway forget them....

They don't know that when a woman gets to a certain age.... that age they all give up at.... being women. And one woman gets to that age and even as she glowingly boasts "am sixty" ... and just when you have done your duty to humanity, there she is...

On that narrowest little sidewalk. Despite her LFS past her front teeth gap left alone as nature intended...indeed her gap...i think enhances as i know she knows...

And she is rich and is on zoom a lot.

And so busy... all those gurus to deal with and juggle.

And has a hunky hub....out of his open car window passing with so much energy... "so what you doing talking to strange men on the streetorner..?!"

"mister....endless... time and again.... it's the norm....  they smile they schmooze...they yabber and they fawn... they charm and promise.....  i mean fuck em one and all the lot... ninety none percent.... just fey bullshit... never ever no no never no more ever mean what they say..." 

A little rant one could not possibly do justice to, in that, all the fossils and dead big bums just aside us.... and her little dog licking my calf as i give her the timeless "unless they have a shag once  a year they die.,... that's nature......there is actually a scientific term for it but lets not spoil our gorgeous coming together with mere science.." and all so in public... all so "whats she doin talking to him i thought she was one of us.... and likes to shop.... at us...?!!"

But then,  there is one line that so many years in preparation and it is real  - unlike the fakes indeed they vanish into the nothing they are just around the corner,  " luv.... you keep telling me you're sixty....   but you don't have to tell me because you know, i know....if i was granted only one shag a year.... I mean you would have to take off your expensive high fashion clothes because we cannot have that, or them getting in the way....and tell your husband not to kerbcrawl just a bit....  .... cos young or old there is only one real one here..   by far the sexiest woman for ....ever.....and i know what a real woman is...and i have 'thought' about you a...lot... because you have fearless spirit and will SAY IT like it actually ...IS.. that is actually ..'sexy'...as you so so obviously know..... and know you alone are ...alive..."

over and out. 

 [oct 2021 footnote] so busy wasting time on the frauds i forgot what this video was  - which was here in July??!! .... but the children of Youtube must fiddle and block and 'take down'... someone elses video and as i am a pure non voluble not febrile pacifist it must have been a sweet something....

.......i never ever ever share post or create anything contentious ever - and have the law of what that IS and should be ... ..in my name....

hahhh hahh these kids...will be the death of you, and Free speech... the two were always linked even Voltaire worked that one out

  Probably best not to look through until 11 June in that a few paragraphs need to be added in to simplify and clarify the overall picture. 9 June i wasn't planning any more discovery roaming but bugger me out of the blue I  encountered the most gloriously cynical, apathetic, and acedia flavoured  bullshit use of public funds aside a large river in the area i have ever seen. Talk about disturbing nature for an expensive vanity project! But there is also more to it than just that...it so so sums up the whole cant and vanity of the lot of them. Your heroines of it all.... this one rather famous. 

Furthermore some initial photos need to be added in to make phase one a bit more alive .  But i do have a lovely day ahead so will be in best ever mood to get the bugger finished or at least started more enjoyably.

And A Queen, at last.

 You wanna hear the audio.... stop. Good English: the audio is really rather unmasking the lot of them. Not by me.

But that may be at the very end. The poetical and graceful version in between is only  is because of her. They need to be her. It is all standard stuff. 

Please note I have never sought a penny from anyone in the 7 year phase  of many thousands of hours spent on attempting to bridge in many people to several wonderful pollution positive opportunities and awareness projects in the region. And there isn't a 'donate' button. Somewhere in these ramblings is how so many of the supposed goodies of the region polluted that particular stream. 

As a page says on a separate site that is linked to from this site, all is an 'invitation'. There are things still that could be done. For real this time.

CONTACT BOX AT BOTTOM. but digital seems not to work. Just call and meet. I have several others who can gather too I have quite intensely worked on face to face from May 2020, who if they see others no nonsense around and about may stop pretending in respect of passionate plans they say they have. And someone can even make money out of some of those. It won't be me. Included is the need for some trustworthy soul to end up trustee and beneficiary of some property may end up available in time for project base.

And context

 There are only tow things these days I decry; but they seem to be even worse fatal pandemic than ever.

Firstly being quoted incorrectly - sounds a bit egotistical, but when no one can listen much it just takes a bit of listening, to get the actual sense, so as not to entirely discombobulate. And then there is 'context'  - well i do have rather a lot of that  - maybe good job, too. Context, do you really have to say prior to every joke in the UK these days "i am a lifetime pondering pros and cons and coming out pro pacifist ..." And all my context other i know is jolly fine.

The other is this simply fatal personal comments at everything. Even the Grasshopper. He said he had a big brain. "tone" even if they don't use such simple words, and cannot listen "you wish what you say you wish well it will be hard so no time at the mo for pleasantries....anyway we did that.... and if even the young counsellor is not going to reply to our heartfelt plea to co-mentor with not today sorry busy... well you better know there are only two sides here and its obvious who is on yours..and would read your digital outbound if you managed to answer just a  few serious questions."

But no. Is it that there is a connected consciousness of the universe and everyone is aware that the great majority wo state on profiles and the like and even face to face ohh how they love to be out in nature, are indeed speaking only for effect. Otherwise known as lying.

Indeed philosophical supposition can fairly be made that is sadly so - sad for them. If one spends at east a third  of the last 14 months minus a few midwniter down here it's not possible to be ranty. Cheeky sedition is my playful hobby at times.   But then also if  during midwinter and still now, one is the only one who brought together half a dozen tough no nonsense women who had never met and made something lovely work for their children one had also never met and before and love  there was lovely love all around including the bit of love where you have to get tough-love...and it all works so absurdly well...  i hardly think one has the fractious soul that they all accuse you of just cos you need to get to the point sometimes...

Perhaps if they actually spent their time 'in' nature too they may be less cynical and indeed even enjoy some of it even through a screen - this one for instance anyone can go to - whilst down a windy road its not even a long waddle for the chubbies. And yet no one ever i mean five different people at most over a whole 14 months. 

My internal setting, only comes from this. All day many a day.

yes that seditious lilt, can be turned off days on end, in fact i have no idea what 'works' because neither approach do. But all i do know have your strategies figured. It may be dead but it is a splendid time saving - those several wasted hours on yet another face to face Nature saviour who cannot write or even call when she asks that. Its only one minute in that bath when at least five in even the shower what with all that pesky floor cleaning after. 

And yes, waste not one second even going into the shade with your little (even more useless)  machine  - you figure if these photos can be seen as i cannot see a thing. I only want to watch every second of all those dragonflies and those very dark butterflies oo yes one on the lid edge now...

Now, time to open this out. One other persons image is worth retrieving from the archive. It could be said she is the only person who has indeed inspired. Well face to face. Just two weeks ago, and in fact i have to do as tribute to her what i said i would, n fact have been saying for some years. Art...dilettante word yes, but i have a rather good collection of poignant nature and connected themes art i have  worked on off and on for years. I did tell her she is worthy of seeing it. But that's another flippin load of screen stuff. ... we shall see.

But lest i forget in fact i forget which site i am in and what was said on which. That Bertrand equation. She alone seems to prove it. She pulls no punches tells it like it is and has genuine overheads and a reputation to need, or they go bust. Yet she clearly got to the proscribed age and  as i said "love ...you mean it and your smile is a real one too, lead chariot for you come the day.... no i shall not be handing out pitchforks but as long as figurative , good idea... you are example to them all though...just cos you're sixty something doesn't mean you have to die at 50..." 

 bugger me... (tip given to the only one who ever mattered, i wonder if she remembers still) scribble then get up for at least ten minutes ideally every half hour minimum. Its amazing how the little lines between the dots come back just of their ownsome.... I have five sites now underway. I couldn't give a toss if none ere ever even scanned. But each if 'for a' a few individuals certainly in noble intent. 

But thinking...lines popping back up.... how splendid, one person only will get a list of all of them. And she isn't British. I do need asylum. Any old 'other' passport will do. But only one seemed to have the right soul. Probably wrong. 

 ahahhh at last some waffling i shall truly enjoy - only gettable if these several main blogs are at least partly taken in. 

https://bullshitoff-grid.blogspot.com/

Skip this 'post' til last

  why its in small font everything else large maybe too large i dont have a moment for fancy things like design and layout yet.

Eureka – or the quiet dawn version of that word.

 

Which in fact is my own real word i would love to have with the world.

 

Fait accompli is another – get used to a fact. For example I have written a few online doodles – one rather large. It used to be on blogger.com that ones posts would have a date and time stamp. And my posts would almost always have 05.30 alongside them. And I have realized especially the last few years even that ‘intimidates’ maybe even the majority. Yes, every day always up and the same old rattling things out....which incidentally is ALWAYS happy. And the fact that maybe most haven’t managed to train or reset themselves to be always up and fresh faced always at 5am yes does intimidate. SO, fait accompli, I don’t think blogger shows the time stamp any more. Assume posts only written at 05.30. If you can’t handle that in your fragile little soul off you trot.

 

Anyway bully for me. But, in fifteen years – well actually since 2003, always searching for the odd ally – the key to any activity which holds to account or ‘gives it to the man’ as we would once say knowing it meant the bossy women too, is a few on side; or sticking a finger up – but the key: with a clean finger nail. Sorry no time to write entirely coherent sentences just yet – especially now I have figured at dawn lightbulb how to enjoy myself.

 

As I was saying in 2003 I did meet a wonderful  compañera  sad we could not become woman and husband. Or helpmeet. The same old reason – those jealous people, thinking they have you by the balls, fight and fight, despising your ‘freedom’  - every way they can complicate and delay, on your taxpayer cash, I could not get back to the wilder lands of gorgeous Mid Portugal too see her. A highly intelligent woman. And a woman who knew real life. And the one woman i have met who also knows your past is your past and how to smile every day of her wonderful successful recent future. That of the most successful phoenix genuine lovely person and small scale but well enough off employer and so popular among her serfs having in her youth sadly been sidetracked into being junky. The most healed person i have ever met, no need for expensive Tibetan sound bowls either. She got ‘it’. Only those who have licked the puddles from the bottom of the abyss really ever get ‘it’. We never had any quarter. No trucking. We were gloriously at one. Only positive and in the moment.  And then bugger me she goes and dies twenty years on rather quickly of cancer arising from the hepatitis of the teenage needle.

 

Anyway only one other person has truly impressed me. She was asked the Bertrand question. I met her on my only plane ride for over a decade, in fact is it only plane ride  15 years now, yes,  golly. Well one of two – the outbound leg somewhere very special, the second being back home. And she was asked mid Atlantic as we were heading into the night basically the two of us sticking two fingers up at the land ahead.

She  - fairly haute bourgeoisie, even met her Queen, but she got me, because she was me from her early on years, in fact, although I will never see her again, is the only person who has inspired me to just tick over. Stay on track.

 

And the Bertrand question is to do the very short and quick version  “ do you intend maintaining or even  getting a bit more ranty social actaviste nestbeschmutzer,  giving it to the man in your older age, passing 50 and into scrofulous fossildom ? Bertrand Russell did – he was giving it right to the bewigged man in his very old age.. everyone else especially every female i have ever known becomes so conformist and ‘mustn’t frighten the horse’s...really... as they get to the years of eau d’ammonia..   and it’s so sad as in fact one is free to be oneself (add in a bit XX guess what i do scientific research the experts of the ammonia scented tell me the ones who live longest say it is because they never stop “fighting the bastards”  - as in the nil illegitimus types..)

“take your time...ponder my question well...” And her answer was music.  Mind you very balanced ‘givin it’ is important or you become sour and maybe even dull.

 

And so. How do I keep not sour and enjoy myself rattling out a few long standing societal this and thats?

 

It came at dawn. Just like that! I didn’t try to look for a solution to a ‘problem’ i could not yet quantify. In other words a bit of just bashing on through the undergrowth  - unplanned, i did not plan to spend all day yesterday sat in my most sublime and peaceful parking spot with a machine out. I never do that. But it goes to show as so many times before at least five years the mind almost has a mind of its own. Things just come out of the blue  - wonderful juicy insights – perhaps only if one is ‘alive’ through maintaining the finger in place. They do feel like clouds of the sweetest pollen floating into the thick skull. No chemicals involved (yes i was sad when i saw that).

 

The ‘problem’: I don’t really like the ‘blog’ form. I wrote my first blog, a slightly poetical homage to a named person and i bet he knew, super fierce Lord Justice Wall, in around 2007 – i have it somewhere. I doodled regularly and quite uncensored around philosophical questions of his very existence. I was in fact on his side sort of when silly people could only see the bad in him. And then a few others. But i have 5 different (though all linked in some deep root system) issues or aspects of life i have planned a few online pages on for some years. Even if the very best one – that makes me so happy just to recall what we achieved, about lasses and nags, that shows life and true life, only arose last autumn.

Anyway i suppose the others are necessarily a bit droll; have to be confined to an easily digestible simple stand alone version for the modern butterfly brained browser. Keep on message, on subject. So be it.  And i wouldn’t even know if anyone did read them as i long ago gave up looking at visitor stats to any site. That way lies madness or at least a very dull persona.

But the eureka: there is one common aspect that in fact is always my own personal delight. It is the only part of mine own scrofulous existence i enjoy pondering, except the other many years thing of  how raising a ball of ammonia smelling human into the sweeter smelling best fun human ever just a few years on, really does make you also get some things about this thing called life into perspective and balance.

That common thread is  remembering the many rather fun and sometimes ingenious habits developed over the years to keep ticking over not only on a shoestring, but with the usual sometimes precarious housing issues of the region, in all weathers, even three years properly ‘off grid’ and not even a water tap or plug for a fair while, never with any effective same-page assistance, whilst most successfully always retaining a veneer of complete and utter comfortable cleanliness and normality. Because horses are so easily frightened. I can smell their mental jolts.

Poise, grace, always; I favour the word ‘sartorial’ meaning with a hint of confident provocation but that word seems to have been dumbed down by recent dictionaries and all online so called portals.

 

Describing that because how to maintain a semblance of the ‘normal’ even if I haven’t owned a fridge for 11 years (now that’s ‘living in the moment’; they’ll pay hundreds a day to hear some fraudulent guru with sleep and angst issues deep down of their own – i know a few!, blather about on their trendy ‘mindfulness’ courses),  or don't clean my zillions of cobwebs in the winter  - in fact still haven’t, as they are a glorious form of living art i love to see in my ascetic’s cave in a very old property with large chimney so zillions can get in, is kindof part of it.

 

SO i shall in fact have an entirely separate one common new blogsite that is only about that. All other sites will have a link to it. Keeps the droll confined versions of this and that like this and the others ‘clean’ yet keeps me happy as it is the only thing i enjoy writing about.  Sounds hippy bullshit. Ehhh....  nope....

Nineteen years ago one particular man came on the scene who I could somehow smell had an issue with needing to give it to others  - because he was sad bitter person i later realised how that thing called ‘guilt’ s so pernicious. If you chose not to fully parent your own kids by not even bothering to move to where they moved to, and pretend otherwise, that is the worst form of guilt that twists you into something rather jealous of others who are not like that. Danger... and thus i sort of clicked into a new mode: prepare always for the worst, figure the essentials, those very few important things and always keep on top of them no matter what.  And then everything else in orbit is always going to be provisional; always any aggro can come along at any time. And that goes for treble backups of everything always too, for all eventualities. And teach oneself a few essential new  techniques which the quite likely future maybe permanent pauper will need to economise. And do it for real not some funky Ed Reardon version. And maybe more important than anything else – life is only about one thing certainly over 50  - making use you actually do have the time to enjoy the waves of stomach based sweetness that sometimes come – the good butterflies, when some shoestring plot works...or all of a sudden you dont bother any more paying off any of your debts  - bad example, there are others. Others i adore. Those little ‘victories’ I have so many in the can. And guess what .. years ago i would say to myself as i was mentally working through various fairly white-knuckle hardship phases one day the tricks and habits i develop i will be grateful for. Stuff like 2 phones, one for all banking and creditors, just in case... Armageddon comes. Keep the other just for nice voices. You get the picture. So yes one day that will be useful. You never know the future. And then bless their cotton socks about a quarter of the world is going to have to learn to stop moaning and feel sorry for themselves and smile at every little bit of simplification and rationalisation and good old logistics planning that works out as the many year ridiculous false financial paradigm comes crashing down like hailstones in a desert.  SO that bit...even though its about a third of my life the last near twenty years and an aspect to existence i only adore, i shall witter away about.... quite separately with just one link shown here when ready...and every word that will be there is a sweetest possible memory. If only everyone else moaning knew. And i was a selfish atomised twat in my 20s, in fact just about undercover king of them. I found something far more fun. Real fun. Letting go does not half way describe it. And furthermore every single person i ever may even hint at being some foe, always leaves one gift behind – of a non material nature i mean. In fact i am attuned to that one gift in every one usually in earliest encounter or soon after even when as usual gosh you miss judge how angsty and screwy someone may be until a few weeks on. And there sure is a pandemic of that.  There are no ‘enemies’. Only little funny insights to gather ...good job i have superb memory and they all remain pretty much in orbit around it.

Yes so there have been many other 'Angels of death' in the interim ....so they are just habits. Have them. Just in case. And also be ready to drop income streams and everything when the rare interesting new aspect to life comes along. That which genuinely does nourish in the head. 

So yes that collection of bits and bobs over near 20 years but in fact mainly the last two years - its astonishing how you think you are too fagged out to enjoy things you were good at before and then you can come back to them and are even more supercharged and good at them; and so have time to fully enjoy them.

Sunday 6 June video clips

series of unedited waffle

 

mega filestore RR 6 june video folder

The full audio - meaning i have my dictaphone on when making clips and those audio files are easier to upload, is on the post prior to this for the whole 'project' notes so to speak.

actual office circs what with having to go off in old jaloppy to get 2 mb signal to upload - only 1/2 mb available within a few miles of my base and even spend Sunday afternoon high up in hills nearby with laptop trying to get more bandwith - failed to my huge surprise.

And then there is, now there have been a few decent weeks to restore best immune system after a very gloomy cold month, now possible, so getting out in it - restorative sunshine, rather a lot to catch up with from a wonderful year of so many new things that also need a bit of showcasing. Good job i like to keep my little notebooks.

  

And also appreciate something that I am not sure any commentator especially the ridiculous ones such as Russell Brand could ever get, nor the three or four BBC broadcasters come and bought a locals home my way the last years and how they moan... and look sorry for themselves, and never have anything wise to say, being as i ask them so often i know that fact: sometimes there are perfectly innocent reasons for ending up in the 'bottom third' to use Malcom Gladwell's recent simplified terminology pinched from me, and how wonderful to have ones many inevitable debts as good as written off, and all sorts of regular, at times, impositions such as that one them journos never manage to appreciate being on monthly reduced council tax payments ohh how they love to wait until you are just one day late on the  payment plan, because it invalidates the whole thing and all of it becomes due imediately or else as they love to threaten you....until something happens.... and its two fingers time to even the annual bill never mind how many new leways there are if clever. Which the bottom third often are.

Joy....

and no more 'shame' at having to duck and dive or be in 'debt'... or have to sign on to Universal Credit, instead of the 'Working tax credit ' one was entitled to for years as a low income worker...just to get council tax reduction one is legally entitled to.

Oh what joy...

My only shame is mine own 'ethical hustle' - having to have been someone else to that which this precise second not having turned my mobile on for the texts i hardly ever even look at any more....i need no longer be. As no one will take notice of some splendid recent invitations. SO be it.

Sunday 6 June 2021 audio

I shall not be 'rolling out' this site for some time. Maybe i will have to relocate first hahh hahh. Its so boring being among the BS merchants anyway.  

There is a page aside the main blog on a long held notion it would be great to find someone more or less on the same page to work at times together on some of this. Indeed there is a story in that - May 2020 no one much caring to hide away around me - thousands of acres to roam,  we didn't have 'lockdown' as such, i started to contact many possible sharers - bubblers, whatever one wants to call sharing costs and such wonderful land around to roam and enjoy. It was extraordinary the bs level those saying they wished to get away from cities and then 3 emails in it all fizzles to weird ghosts as usual. I am not sure they meant their statements about getting away from it all. It's very 'trendy' to state one wishes a simple rural life. It's the stating that's the problem, or better word fantasy. I discovered. 

NB all below is still in draft form. Back of fag packet, quickly rattled out sketch of something. I have several similar active online sketchbooks on the go  and am probably even mixing up what said here and there. Lots of editing and rewriting needed soon. And for me that means if we have  a week of bad weather as from spring i get out into the good weather a lot. 

Ideas for what could be, or 'wanted'. Plus my own hypocrisies and shortfalls - that matter. Recorded 6 June 2021

I have a very large archive of discoveries of bad practice, and bitchy BS even, going back 15 years only collected to show the unsustainable attitudes of a range of people concerned with sustainability and even owning the bits of land we need to be ecologically sustainable. I don't really want to bore myself with the great kiss'n-tell. Although it is a significant archive in true history terms. 

What I would far rather do is be chronicling some new no nonsense relationships developing in respect of a few getting to grips with much more real and proactive approaches to all of this. Even find GOOD examples of genuine better environmental practice  - including the no more bs people aspct, and film or essay and record segments on that. AN Other alongside me would be good for that. Maybe the archive is a little bit of 'leverage' ... " you dont want to be another dilettante failure like x y and z do you..!"  Though I am most careful about libel and slander. I would never speak negatively of anyone unless i really do have a jolly good archive that backs up my words on past matters if they are ever to be rolled out fully.

Sorry, I believe one of the many shortfalls in matters eco has been poor inadequate communication. It is impossible to explain oneself or the real issues in one 4 minute snippet. One cannot even say to the average 'right thinking' environmentally inclined person any more "as Neruda said a conversation does not begin until we have been speaking for at least an hour", so I do it even more to experience their bitter response which is of course fulfilling their lifestyle 'needs' they certainly don't have even 15 minutes free.... ever! Its laughable. Which is at real root. So here I ramble on. Attempting to communicate fully the issues and possibilities. Clearly, and once only. I don't have time any more to waste on repeating myself.    

And i have a lot to share AN Other or so could benefit from. There are useful roles I can nudge others into which are tentative as they depend on others however are REAL environmental no nonsense new paradigm stuff. Let's hope we as a society don't settle back into further apathy and complacency after 2020 

mega filestore 6 june 2021 pm all audio only

I forgot…

Theres one true living bit. You see I had a magga bucks development quietly blocked 5 to 3 years ago. I deliberately then put out even if I am most not-“social” I am in love with the Mistress of the hunt and retire from all previous oft stated values” Serious.

But the last few weeks there is behind ‘this’ something very very real and alive. That for the first time ever I decided to let my guard down with the middle classes of the region – those wHom ‘self identify’ as just a bit upper,  as this time I mean it. And revealed all – or almost all. To them first I mean.

 

I may have MissJudged, I thought I had it, had them at last realising there are only two sides in respect of the rivers they fish and I was of them and in fact had essentially been operating for them for more years than they ever knew. And then they went silent. Its when the Master of The Universe you thought was companero having opened up to him, goes silent, may be the true danger moment. But guess what I could no longer give a fuck. If the lower orders aren’t worth living for, as sadly they are not having tried to for so long,  then nothing is.

Bring it on – it will likely be by accidental very large tractor accident “oh I didn’t see him down there…no fluorescent…”

5 june The project in audio and some video

I have some time been pondering what next, if anything, but a recent experience - same old bullshit, and a RARE thing a superb free speaking older  woman got me to ranting at  

https://www.illicitgirlsridingclub.com/p/swanlake-emergency.html

But then i just thought, nope...it is always the same. It is time to at least write more fully the truth. All the way until the wheels fall off and burn. So here we go.

Maybe summed up although this really is a back of a fag packet make it up as go along.

and I haven't had time to check for typos and grammar yet. 

Most likely eventuality i hide in a cave and write up the interesting bits. But not like the rather silly Norwegian who clearly watches too many YouTube videos. Watching lots of anything on a screen does make you rather intense and unable to see behind the screens. Centeredness and peace only comes from forgetting that humanity exists on long walks and maybe once forgotten, and accepting that people not listening is splendid for real creativity,  pondering anything useful that may be said, to help perhaps...and clearly he hasn't)

Bjorn

(video channel - i been living like that at times for 20 years and don't need to show off with a fancy beard or weaponry, or extreme words)

I made half an hour of video 5th June 2021. Perhaps it 'explains' a few things in a more human way, but also i do find when in the 'zone' - which means well rested  - sleep the key to thinking philosophically,  things develop a life of their own. That said all things shared many years in the percolating and al opinions expressed as a result of very very many examples encountered leading to eventual conclusion after many years percolation. One gets so tried of cowards stating "you cannot generalise". I am sure 100 years ago politicos opposing the female vote said exactly that when someone piped up with "women are equal human beings too". The tendency of certain females  - sadly the environmentalist movement is basically run by female people so that is not a Miss Oh Jenny its just an unavoidable bit of reality, to deploy that weapon of "you cannot generalise" seemed to arise around the time that loads of fake environmentalists started to put up their stalls (for grant money or admiration) yet DID nothing....much. Litter picking around your town when the citizenry should demand the taxes paid for that are spent on that, does not count. Especially when more of the planets resources are wasted on so many gleaming fluorescent jackets and even these days special equipment and gloves they all have to pick up a fag end. Country folk pick up ferret shit and wipe their fingers on their trousers that's what trousers are for. And science says ...generally... the more pathogens the better - tunes up your natural defences. You are only extant because cavewomen did not have hand gel. And that is a fact. 

SO yes ... ehh i was just going to be chronicling up until yesterday.... because truth matters - without it we do not know where the gateposts are for future generations to manoeuvre their Mad Max vehicles through without bashing a bumper, and then over the previous one who fucked it up entirely for them. 

Simple factual extremely high standards of evidence, always anonymised - maybe except for one veryvery  baddy i have yet to decide. And lots of poetry mixed in too, and lines from the odd stirring Siouxsi or Joan Baez or if we must Bobsong song, to keep me entertained. All lines from anyone else ever are always credited. All cheating is bad. 

But then as i am preparing first rough chronicle draft i just started to talk in tongues about actually how there may be some genuine possibility that may be gathered ...'challenged'; but then as one categorical fact in my own lovely life is that even Bjorn is far too bourgeois for me and i want nothing, i certainly am of a different species to the rest of the UK and thus have no conceivable future any any fellowship with any compañera    and i am writing a book about how genuine togetherness in rural areas be it as footstamper or small scale farmer or horticulturalist or even ferret breeder is essential and no one in UK seems to actually understand this any more indeed understanding i guess will soon also be classified as 'micro aggression'.

SO i discovered a few years ago a great way of putting into a few sentences or maybe just one how to live - a hero Montaigne the first 'blogger' tried... I think i can do better: Once past the early middle years of still thinking shagging and stuff really are important,  act as if the best possible outcome  - well pondered for any unintentional harm to others or groups of 'others', will indeed be possible sooner or later. No matter what battles are waged in their 'now'. Just keep on the path and act as if you wont get bashed off it or die of unwashed hands after touching a toadstool by accident. Or even sleeping with her.   And a final little  line is constantly check oneself for Messianic or fascistic or narcissistic personality disorder traits.  I have the odd 'Grasshopper' under my wing - only very lightly shaded and in a loose embrace as one must be so careful these days so many desperate people need so much.  I always say to them watch every few years as minimum The Film Land Of The Blind. But remember the murderous overthrow may be metaphor. There are many other ways a power class can damage those under their foot.

Anyway to very scrappy initial business. I also have lots of film over the years featuring others. But despite fancy new fibre line laid along a road a mile from me. We will NEVER have more than less than 1mb upload so i have to bob around cafes and the like and its so hard to multi task all that and write too. And it is the writing I like. Not that anyone seems to be able to read any more.... we shall see.

 Temporary first media links

Mega.nz seems ok and is often said to be extremely virus-safe,  but i cannot read any more ts and cs and am well read. I assume these links will keep working but the gobbledygook they feed you is impossible nowadays and i used to run a few online portals in the old days. Before every spiv in town became the next Jobs or whomsoever. And am very good at multitasking being a single parent many years and wearing several other concomitant hats. Some a bit frenetic.  

and i even have to multi task between bleedin google ids and mega accounts as to be an environmentalist one has to learn to really really love saving every penny and being very good at it. Systems are for beating. One megga account is filling up  - ones free allowance there's always a way to cheat. And it isn't if you have to cheat because so many of the 'environmentalist'  cheats literally wasted many thousands of hours of my jolly happy life these last 15 years.  

VIDEOS 

5 June at bridge video clips part 1

mega filestore RR part 1 video 5 june

and part 2 

mega filestore IGRC 5 june video part 2

sorry 2 gb but i forgot to turn vid to a lower setting.

All these settings to bugger about with.......

AUDIO OF ALL VIDEOS 

audio only of   videos above

plus some missed bits when camera stopped and i did not know as i don't have a helper.

6 files in numerical sequence

These are the unbroken audio of nattering to camera as above

mega filestore (IGRC) 5 june 2021 pm audio

i have no idea if Mega allows more than a few downloads of the above. Time will tell. Use the contact form if any queries or want more. There is zillibytes more...But for now you will have to prove your on my side first... :-) And are sick of the bullshit too, in a nice centred and peaceful way...i never even furrow my brow these days. indeed i do need a comedian on board as it is all so lampoonable it's many a great comedy. Even monetisable for someone, and that ain't my thing. Beyond living expenses and they are rather below average - why i have the time to do what maybe matters.

Endgames

 Games.

These aren't.

Nearly twenty years ago as a single parent of a wonderful two year old  ball of joy, I was bringing up very very close to nature - indeed she often slept with it, in the shape of one or other of her ferrets, I decided it was time for her sake to start to get into the environmental issues of that region. Our 'lifestyle' was extremely humble. Unlike the great majority of people moving out to rural fringe areas I came in my early 30s with no income from 'off'. I had continued part time, at times, a previous profession that took me back to the cosmopolitan centres for the first five years after moving up but upon creation of said ball of joy I gave up those professional credentials forever. A child needs both parents around all the time. Fait accompli. No 'sacrifice' as her life and her planet are the only true joy. No pension from some previous southern life to await; local rates of pay when i could.

And then something else dominated my own life for five years - a useful diversion that in fact feeds back into now. Unpaid then and now.

There is a short version: In my 'diversion' years, quite unplanned I had a certain amount to do with fighting in public the Masters of The Universe. And a few Mistresses. Nothing to do with commerce even if the haute bourgeois setting is so at the root of so much in UK. Fancy lifestyle. I was in a wing of social justice. What's that got to do with Fancy Lifestyle ? one may ask. Well the answer is that almost all UK social practice of the authorities is in fact dominated behind the scenes and often closed doors by self serving vested interests. Local Authorities act in most cruel manner against the citizen at times and when the citizen seeks some recourse, their mates who are in the legal firms they employ to present their side - more often their intended path of destruction through the life of some safe enough family they persecute, get rich. And the taxpayer shells out. To keep afloat the quite  unjust gravy boats of those involved. I got my work appreciated in public at the highest levels - the few half decent MPs championed. One of the Mistresses of The Universe who had to be nettle stung on my path through their cant and vanity was even Harriet Harmon. Oh my she had a sour soul. 

I only mention this in that I know how society works. And have many years baptism of fire forged balanced ideas about how it should.

Much speaking with a range of people over the past five or so years, including one or two rare younger people who can indeed apply sceptical constructive critique leads me to a couple of possible solutions. But there may be better ones.

However here is the thing. In my opinion even the 'words' are wrong. 

I do a certain amount of low key work in folks fields and larger gardens - always trying to retain as much of nature, or if we wish to be scientific 'biodiversity' as possible. I spend time monitoring both as someone scientifically minded, and legally minded what are eco crimes in my region. I also ponder a lot how could years of film photographs and recorded interviews be turned into some powerful soul grabbing 'art'.

But it is the words i must describe myself with maybe are the first hurdle: environmentalist; conservationist; organic land custodian? All a bit pious and dull.

'Fighting'. "Giving it to the man" as people would say from the 60s, and i do not mean gathering to play tomtoms in some town or city square, i mean the real 'fight' which is in fact quite risky as the bullneck bullies do dominate the land, keeps you alive. It does not provide myself with any society as i know full well 99% of these environmental 'activist' types over many years are such silly drips. As i state on my wanderings sometimes when i may meet the occasional genuinely good mind " the tree hugger spiritual brigade ere my initial people - those i wished to be my people, but over the years i realised from inside just how useless and self obsessed they are...i knew them well, and chose them to be the parents i would wish my child to encounter..... i've even slept with a few of them.... and all of it was not fun; was dead, especially the sleeping with bit...and that was before they en masse seem to develop a new 'connected consciousness of the universe'  which basically amounts to accusing one of medical conditions if you aren't quite as dull as they are... in the 80s even your worst enemy like a National Front bovva boy would never stoop so low as intimating one suffered from a defined medical condition... this lot all want their kids nowadays to get defined as autistic or Asperger's, mainly for safety in permanent benefits...and oh how they also love to let that medical term roll over into their appraisal of the person they were rolling over in the sack with .... except they weren't doing much rolling as their ice maiden aura may melt if some real heat gets a goin.." 

All those words sound dull. Strange when the greatest fight to have  - and even if myself i only like quiet nothing and a bit of nature thrown in for interest, is fighting to retain much of life on the planet. Even the Bojo stated a few months ago bunny huggers are great too.

 But still it is as if only certain words are allowed. And i certainly wouldn't trust any 'eco warrior' as i have encountered a few and know they don't know that generators don't need to be ;eft on all night both ruining the lives of other humans never mind polluting. And are generally less good at cleaning up all their litter after some late night do than they would like you to believe.

So yes where does one start - well the words, conservationist etc. A problem.

And then there is the conflation in the last five or so years once the absurdities such as Mister Farage came along. I know well several 'freedom' loving "bring back control" people who are adamant they are very environmentally focused.  Very. (whilst noticeably never doing anything to reduce their very  bourgeois lifestyle). And there is one good thing about just such people which is they don't run away crying as all bunny huggers i have ever known if one speaks of FACTS - and i am 110% certified BH i even rescue near dead pheasants from the road, and dont feed them to my ferrets, unless they are dead. I try and bring them back to life. I have many funny films of this. 

I can have a most at ease chat with almost any Faragian bullneck - especially the female bullneck variant, that i know is sincere when it comes to the terrible degradation of habitats and rivers etc.. But then when it comes to atmospheric issues it is hilarious in that they have been programmed by idiot politicing and 'identity' tribal matters to take that sharp intake of breath between their tightly shut teeth. 

Which just shows how foolish they are after all simplistic bullneck bollocks simplified into dumb one liners such as control etc has been their meat and two veg. Never mind how atrocious all green rhetoric i have ever known has also been. It is only about one word: pollution. The rivers are damaged or destroyed, which to the inexpert obviously damages the whole natural food chain, by pollution. The majority who speak of climate change via industrial emissions  - which of course includes industrial levels of high emission cows farting too, should just speak of pollution. And pollution is simply the introduction of other chemicals at rates nature has yet to evolve to deal with; whether they be sulphuric acid to be 'extreme' to miniscule little co2 variability.  The evolution takes many centuries or millions of years of course. Soon it seems much of life on the earth will have woven into its very lifeform microplastics. A brain will perhaps even within decades  be maybe 1% microplastic. In time  though lifeforms will evolve to maintain efficacy with that change (in 'environment' simplisticaly described as a new 'phenotype') incorporated; smome may fail to evolve to high rates of change. Maybe many species will lose in that super speeded up race to adapt to changes in environment. There are species that can even thrive in places where there is natural sulphuric acid present.

This material here is not about the technicalities of anything. Its about people. And it isn't about their waste or shit. Its just about their bullshit.

Except it is also because it just may be time to start doing it all for real. Because the people have changed - no not in the way the hairdyed lasses of Extinction Rebellion claim, in a real way.

SO lets start with  what endgame. Assuming one agrees it is not a game. Myself i just want everything to stop and we have a big worldwide tidy up first  - why, because i have even lived among the wealthy, and i only pity them. Only ever pity. Because their lives are so dull and joyless. Behind their painted masks and smiles. Joy if from doing something, difficult. Maybe impossible. And also knowing that 'come the day' your kids won't get the guillotine out "so mum/dad what did you do in the war..." [as a confirmed permanent forever pacifist having seen real conflict close at hand in various parts of the world and at home, and knowing even in Gaza they could still just WALK AWAY... all refences to chopping bits of bodies are figurative, a leg pull...joke...] 

Speaking with various people - the middle or as they all pretend to be just a bit upper middle - especially the Waitrose Bags.... on truly bad local environmental crimes sometimes even they raise and then never answer any nice letter even asking could you support a little - just be moral support,  friend, compañera, don't want any of your dodgy hedgefunding husbands filthy city lucre... they ghost. By default. Even the good ones. Even those whos facebooks are littered with eco crime sobbing, nope behind ones back as one cycles off from an hour lovely chat with them where they say they care... they plot how to eat the conversation they had just had chiming...may as well be windchiming they love the expensive models of them.

But i also know them.  See video segments if i can get them uploaded this year.  They do sort of like something a bit risque.

And thus i have just one thought. I had it nine months ago as i surveyed the saddest most hypocritical serious prosecutable (protected) wildlife destruction in my favourite highup hillside place of all. What is the solution? are they possible?

And one thought was somehow to enable, help, encourage small teams of younger people - late teens 20s, to be monitors. There is existing wildlife law. And as so many of their mums to get vulnerability benefits (keeps your tenancy in place too more easily - so so soul destroying to have to somewhat angle ones own truth to an unhealthier truth so as just to afford a roof being all the Londoners bout any affordable one so i am on their side but also know they participate in a system of cages - labelling young and eaving them in a metaphorical pheasant pen when they need to be treated as normally as possible because many of these things are just phases - with better parenting, is a trap a tragic trap) claim all their kids are adhd autistic well lets utilise these 'propensities'; Nice accurate long checklists of facts. The facts of environmental law. Existing. And wander checking what is not being complying with. 

 

Crime is crime. If said ecocidere of a local wasteland overgrown steep unusable fring land  spot - before he ecodided.... had his bike stolen from outside the deli, well he would feel he had a duty to society to see it were prosecuted. Funny how there is a bit of imbalance in that value system. Funny how many excuses and waffles you hear when it comes to categorical  crimes against the current environmental law in theory carrying considerably harsher penalty than nickin his 50 quid bike.

Asperger's type personalities which every single parent  - many on mindfulness courses at bedtime, why they also cannot sleep, claims for their incoming Camilla or Horatio even these days, i believe dont have 'moral' compasses or rather their moral compasses are not polluted by bullshit. A crime is a crime to such a person. When every middle class mother i have known for years claims some similar 'specialness' for their version of Milo or Betty, well the arent 'variants' or even differently abled... the norm so give em what they want! No need for playing social mores they are suposedly forever unable to play acording to their label. Humanity is just numbers and black and white. Baddies and goodies perhaps. Fine.... Use it! 

And then there is... well all these recent type A types...

of course complicated by some idiot savant who needs to overcomplicate. For their careeer possibilities by definition they are type A. And it isnt a 'theory' just a

 fact: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Type_A_and_Type_B_personality_theory

30 years ago it was crystal clear which people had developed fairly ambitious master of the universe traits off the telly... (that's all that happened) or been infected by some type A neighbour or family friend... they dreamed of DB7s at bedtime and lusted after them or at least some haute bourgeois status symbol and some got them too, often at any cost. That's all a Master of The Universal Type A personality is.

I have a theory, that maybe the very recent wave of Immos plague of them my way.... i think they could in fact be used. Type As at least have one good quality: they can sniff bullshit after all it is how they made their filthy lucre so as to be able to buy our poor houses here....  for absurd overprices.. and it sticks in their nostrils. 

Well, maybe its time to try and harness them.... and they do adore 'success' ... me i adore my own many years of failure even if i did try my best... this is all just for fun... and a perfect well chronicled  example of what to DO...to my fledglings...or in  more modernspeakish, mentored free thinkers being mentored on quite standard politics with good values, in their 20s.

And for them, i do go all the way...always. And win.

The following link is here of Something Understood 6 June because it is a lovely example of how the 'downside' of poverty is all that the journalist of today can ever focus on when in fact there are many upsides. I know as I am happiest person I know. Despite the pandemic of atomisation that swept over UK as we entered this century which so fractures rural existence as well. 

 

MEANIES OF THE BBC ONLY ALOW A MONTH OF LISTENING

EXPIRES EARLY JULY 2021

Living With Poverty

Something Understood

Following the Archbishop of Canterbury’s recent remarks about the problem of hunger in the UK, Mark Tully considers social and personal attitudes towards poverty.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b06y96gs

There are three possible 'outcomes'

 I write extremely fast. I do not need to think or plan any 'post'. As i touch type my way from dawn - i only write early in the day, it all comes back as if by magic. I claim no magic on my side. Unlike them....

For now a recent poetical nomenclature for class 2 becomes The Waitrose Bags. Most are ageing and live in total denial of this, and having themselves in earlier years regaled against Waitrose symbolically as totem of careless bourgeois selfishness,   it is curious how as they get into their fifties too one does see a lot of large prominently displayed Waitrose Bags on their shoulders...as they picnic by sterile rivers they have complained about being sterile for some years. Or worse...

I have years of film and photography. And interviews... from 'within' these circles. As i also am a leading, real 'activist' - = paid in blood, paid in tragedy...not paid expenses by radio 4 for the latest moaning and no actual action,  on freedom of speech and worked uk primary legislation into the statutes on that topic, i know exactly where the line is. 

So yes three 'outcomes'. 

No one takes a blind bit of notice. Fine, as living as walking quiet performance art in private poetical response, is a lovely existence. And 'creativity' i long ago discovered is genuinely enhanced by knowing certain positions are scientifically and sociologically accurate, but no one ever has a good word to say. I turn comments off because i don't want any word of agreement even. Years some had their chance at that.

People put their silly made up differences, even that big one the two tribes, behind, and start from fresh. You cannot start anything without a firm foundation: the truth; all thus far has failed. 

There is a new window. I do not mean made up ones the WBs preach... from the safety of their Facebook clickbait mindfulness classrooms on zoom. I interviewed a rich farmer just yesterday and he himself dissed the chicken factories. I did not lead him to that sacrilegious statement. He threw it at me.

I make enough money from a 'patreon'  or whatever extortion racket so called 'creators' emotionally blackmail their reader into, that i can leave this fetid swamp forever and run away to Norway ...  i do have the 'leverage' it may be in many peoples best interest - they will think*. I shut up. Far more land to go and hide in a log cabin and die in Norway. 

* = they cannot. Oh huge baddies in this story will be regional religious fraudulent institutions; i would nicely take their bibles from their hands and turn to "page two...here shall i put a red circle around it where it says..'your gaffer says look after his garden'. so you won't forget.... .. ehh he tends to be not too nice to your 'soul' if you are a bad boy isnt that the deal..?"   but even worse baddies are the so called mindfulness type of WBs who should be done for fraud because many a religious tract though overcomplicating it all, and certainly newer ageish tract though they got even worse at the false claims, did sort of get to a simple thing - superb real psychology (i am expert): fait accompli is the only great mental wellbeing. Accept it as it is even if the 'it' is plenty of sins in your cap too.  Ground zero a popular trendy bullshit term. Failure.... total failure. Wonderful. Honesty about it means not only get it ALL right next time if possible. It also means so many baddies that individual blame is irrelevant. But it also means that from now on in this day of £50 cameras... every single word must be for public consumption and every single word uttered one should be uttering assuming someone checking for BS and also one should be accountable for every single word - may indeed be. That is s superb lovely fait accompli.