And i am now...VERY...focused.

NOTE July 2022. links to mega filestore where my videos are probably as dysfunctional now as local environmentalists as i havent paid the bill for said filestore. will be put back in order soon. all is carefully saved...in triplicate.... especially the film of item 1 here 

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 As one criminal wild animal murderer - or rather large group of wild animals murderer...has been given a chance for new healthy friendship...mutual aid... build something positive from their (it was a semi aristocratic clan, the wife too knew... bet their church congregation doesn't, nor her Extinction Rebellion very very good mates who so fawn at their feet... do either)

..the most tragically hypocritical way of treating nature in ALL my 50 plus years being close to it - but being close to big power elsewhere in sophisticated places too...

what i personally have to 'deal' with - after  spring 2020 seeing and photographing and filming one industrial scale wildlife crime less specific, i.e. just huge area of woodland unlawfully cleared during the height of bird and wildlife breeding season, then  July into August 2020 the saddest mass wildlife destruction (bulldozed ALIVE) i have eer seen....

That is hard. But what is actually harder is many years knowing a range of people - its always the women, who sell nice homespun things at farmers markets and fairs... they make expensive(ripoff) yurts to sell to tourists or thieves who stole money down south ty afford to live here (false lawsuits against their employers in previous careers is stealing too - quite common  - i have heard several campfire admissions  the last 15 years ....conscience outs eventually or poisons..)

so what is harder is all these tie dye  types...gather at small festivals like Croisant Neuf or even Sheep Music (i would go to with my daughter as fool me i thought these people were authentic and REAL and a good influence)  all so so holier than thou...

one did it yesterday again - they're always the same 

" 20 years....total environmental wasteland... thefarmers and hunting lot just run rough sod...every single one on 'our' side was ineffectual and mainly completely false.."

the look - always the same " that is a bit of a sweeping generalisation"

To which the answer should have been 

"No luv why don't you shut the fuck up with your insulting rubbish,  it is, all you know is from sitting around someone else's yurt smoking drugs, where your lot for about 15 years have been accusing anyone who doesnt spread your 'positive energy of the universe will solve everything' message of 'generalising' or having 'bad energy' but you aint stupid as you know the only way the usually male dinosaur landowner  - cos someone ALWAYS owns the land... wont invite you back to his land via his lady friends yurts...if you don't spread the Teletubbies version...cos they dont like screwing ' negative' sourpusses they only like screwing  fairies with no brain...like you...and as for generalisation if there wasnt a generalisation about a hundred years ago 'women may vote intelligently  for  moral politicians rather than the armed bomb making wing of the suffragettes....blessem maybe we should trust them with the...vote..[ it being always and only females who by default accuse or in fact insult a man with 'you cant generalise'..'  which is code for I shall never fuckin ever DO anything rather than just talk about the environment  top make me look good]  "

Anyway ..forget them...even if i have a wonderful huge diary of every second of them... millions of seconds of them as the truth only helps the future unless you are Mussolini or a Teletubby.. but when a criminal animal murderer throws away his olive branch....so meanly.. i don't name names, though i do have a list in my head of every single one of the above... Big Al... there's a dead one... the lot of them ...Phoebe.. that whole family...

If one cares about an issue one has a truly superb memory for those who frequently wasted ones time pretending they cared... 

i should have added yesterday " no i didnt mentally file away your name a few months ago as i could tell the second i saw you that t wouldn't be worth it ... so you don't get on then list luv worry not now fuck off and park your car with the engine running all day you call a live in vehicle..elsewhere ... for your own sake - the landowners round here will eat you alive... you have to be a grown up to find out the truth of their behaviour...then somehow tolerate them ....smiling a genuine smile as i do no matter what... and i sleep perfectly luv which i can see you don't... go to a fuckin ashram and maybe they will teach you what 'conscience' means there... that was a joke by the way... cos you'll have to steal a few grand of someone else's money once more ...to get there.... "